BEST INTERNET HUMOR
   
 
Children's Views on Marriage
  Author: Author unknown  
  Notes: Where did this originate? If you know, please let us know. We tracked it down to Vancouver BC but the trail went cold.  
     
   

What exactly is marriage?

“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents”
Eric, age 6

“When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out.”
Anita, age 9

How did your mom and dad meet?

“They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down. It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values.”
Lottie, age 9

“My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind.”
Jeremy, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

“I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.”
Theodore, age 8

“You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan”
Kirsten, age 10

“It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them”
Anita, age 9

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble.”
Will, age 7

What is the right age to get married?

“Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.”
Camille, age 10

“No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.”
Freddie, age 6

“Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.”
Carolyn, age 8

“Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife”
Bert, age 5

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

“Married people usually look happy to talk to other people.”
Eddie, age 6

“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.”
Derrick, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” Lynnette, age 8
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
Martin, age 10

“Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love.”
Craig, age 9

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

“I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.”
Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?

“When they’re rich.”
Pam age 7

“The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.”
Curt, age 7

“The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.”
Howard, age 8

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding.”
Allan, age 10

“Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you… If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.”
Kally, age 9

How do you decide whom to marry?

“You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”
Alan, age 10

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.”
Kirsten, age 10

“You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one.”
Kelly, age 9

“My mother says to look for a man who is kind… That’s what I'll do… I’ll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome.”
Carolyn, age 8

How would you make a marriage work?

“If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy clothes, especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on it.”
Lori, age 8

“Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.”
Ricky, age 10

 

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